A Wandering Soul
Premkumar Masilamani
31 Oct 2026
Sometime in 2016.
My manager was using a fountain pen to take notes in the team meeting. I’ve used fountain pens in college. When my manager was talking about the idea of taking notes on pen and paper, it brought back memories of my beautiful handwriting. He let me use his Lamy pen. The pen felt so good to write with.
“What am I missing?” At that instant, I was obsessed with fountain pens. I used them for daily notes, exam preparations, and even travel planning. I bought so many fountain pens from different brands across the world.
When someone tells me, “Wow, you’re using fountain pens!” I feel good. Real Good.
Many years later, I realized a local pen that costs less than a dollar works just as well as those costly pens. The differences didn’t affect my work.
Sometime in 2013.
I read an article about a senior engineer using the Vim editor for programming and documentation, and how the mouse & graphical interfaces slowed him down. I used the Vim editor in my college days, and only on remote servers for basic text editing. After reading that article, I was intrigued.
“What am I missing?” At that instant, I decided to learn and use Vim. I started writing blogs in the Vim editor. I felt like “Neo” in the movie “The Matrix”.
When someone tells me, “Wow, you’re using Vim for writing blogs!” I feel good. Real Good.
Many years later, I realized any simple editor works just as well as the Vim editor. The differences didn’t affect my work.
Sometime in 2010.
On a coffee chat, one of the young colleagues was talking about how much he loves mechanical keyboards. I’ve used mechanical keyboards in college. Back then, that was the only option in our computer lab. This young fella’s enthusiasm about mechanical keyboards brought back nostalgic memories.
“What am I missing?” At that instant, I was obsessed with mechanical keyboards. I bought one and used it. The tactile feedback and the clicky sound felt so good. At one point, I had four different mechanical keyboards from different brands for my personal use.
When someone tells me, “Wow, you’re using mechanical keyboards!” I feel good. Real Good.
Many years later, I realized a simple membrane keyboard works just as well as mechanical keyboards. The differences didn’t affect my work.
What’s the underlying emotional need behind all three incidents?
I enjoyed using these products, and I also wanted to belong and feel special.
What has changed in my life?
My profession. I have been a life coach for the past 3 years. It’s a lonely profession. Most of my work is done virtually. There is no one to see my fountain pen, the mechanical keyboard, or the editor that I use. Lately, I realized
The vanity vanishes when there are no observers.
This is a powerful realization for me.
What are the things that no longer serve you?
PS: This article is written on paper and a local fountain pen. The fountain pens, the mechanical keyboards, and the Vim editor are still amazing products. Just that their absence did not affect me or my work.
Thank you for reading. If this article sparked a thought, raised a question, or inspired a different perspective, I'd love to hear from you.