A Goodbye Email from a Hardcore Programmer
21 Nov 2013
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I quit TCS. Today is my last day. I wanted my final goodbye email to be very special, unique and resemble what I did in TCS. This is what I sent to my colleagues today :)
/**
* @author Premkumar Masilamani
* @company Tata Consultancy Services
* @about My Life in TCS
* @startDate 03-Nov-2004
* @endDate 21-Nov-2013
*/
import com.hindustancollege.ComputerScienceDegree;
import com.love.programming.SoftwareEngineerDream;
public class PremsLifeInTCS extends SoftwareEngineerDream implements ComputerScienceDegree {
public static void main(String[] args) {
// Phase 1 - Jobless Wanderer
do {
attendInterview();
if (gotJobInTCS) {
passedInterview = true;
}
} while (!passedInterview);
// Phase 2 - Learning the Trade
while (working12PlusHoursADay()) {
learnTechnology();
}
// Phase 3 - Dollor Dreams
for (int i = 0; i < 10000; i++) {
askForOnsite();
if (yes) {
gotoUnitedStates();
break;
} else {
continue;
}
}
// Phase 3 - Enjoy Life in US
while (inUnitedStates) {
noWorkAllPlay();
if (tcsLostTheProject()) {
comeBackToIndia();
break;
}
}
// Phase 4 - Trying to fit in the corporate world
if (foughtWithManager() || foughtWithClient() || notOKWithApplicationDesign()
|| workedFor2Years()) {
switch (project) {
case AMEX:
break;
case TEG:
break;
case TFS:
break;
case LandG:
break;
default:
dontGotoOffice();
}
}
// Phase 5 - Kindling my romantic side
while (notGoingToOffice()) {
dateGirls();
if (foundTheRightOne()) {
marryHer("Love of my life");
}
}
// Phase 6 - Becoming a family man
goToOnsite(chooseOnsite(maxCurrencyRate("US", "GB", "SG", "AU")));
while (inUnitedKingdom) {
makeFriends();
hostParties();
workHard();
if (visaExpired) {
comeBackToIndia();
break;
}
}
// Phase 7 - Doing the inevitable
if (!challengingWork() && !changingProject() && !learningNewTechnology()
&& gotGoodOffer()) {
sayGoodByeToTCS("Thanks to everyone in TCS");
pleaseKeepInTouch();
}
}
public static void pleaseKeepInTouch() {
viaWebsite("https://www.premkumarmasilamani.com");
viaLinkedIn("https://www.linkedin.com/in/premkumar-masilamani/");
viaGitHub("https://github.com/premkumar-masilamani");
// viaFacebook("i-do-not-use-facebook");
// viaTwitter("i-do-not-use-twitter");
if (emergency) {
viaPhone("you-would-know-the-number");
}
}
}
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