After completing my Professional Certified Coach (PCC) training, I realized I had to unlearn much of what I once believed as an Associate Certified Coach (ACC).
The less I try to coach, the more coaching happens.
Not in the way I used to, at least.
I’m no longer interested in performing, asking perfect questions, offering kind appreciations, crafting clever metaphors, or steering toward neat solutions.
Now, all I want is to be present, agenda-free, deeply listening, so the client sees more of themselves than ever before.
The quieter I become, the louder their inner voice grows. When I let go of the wheel, they drive, not where I imagined, but somewhere I couldn’t have.
If they leave thinking, “I spoke with someone, and something clicked inside,” then I’ve done my work. That’s all.
Just be there
My role isn’t to intervene, guide, or lead, but simply to hold space.
True presence means no guiding, no evaluating, no anticipation, just stillness. In that stillness, clients begin to hear themselves clearly. My presence becomes a quiet mirror, reflecting parts they’ve never seen.
Clients don’t need advice or a push. Just space and clarity.
That’s what I offer: space without interruption, reflection without distortion, presence without performance.
I used to think good coaching meant asking great questions. Now, I question the need for questions at all.
Most questions carry a subtle pressure. Even well-intended questions nudge the client toward my frame, not theirs. But silence doesn’t intrude. It invites. In that quiet, clients stop speaking to me and begin speaking to themselves.
Sometimes I say nothing for many minutes. Sometimes I reflect back a single word, or just breathe. And somehow, in that non-doing, breakthroughs emerge.
I’m still unlearning. The ACC mindset to add value and drive outcomes is hard to shake.
Silence remains awkward. Clients still expect answers. But I’m learning that the deepest transformations come not from what I say, but from what I don’t.
That’s where I am now. Practicing restraint, embracing silence, listening not just to words, but to what lies beneath.
I want to be the kind of coach who leaves no fingerprints on the client’s journey.
I don’t want them to remember my words, but what surfaced within. I want to disappear into the background, leaving only the space that reflected their truth.
That’s the future of coaching I’m walking toward.
If someone asked me today what I do as a coach, I’d say,
I make it safe for people to hear their own voice, without interruption, judgment, or noise.
I am not here to shape anyone’s path. I’m here with a quiet presence that says, You are safe here. You already know the way.
That’s all it takes. Trust the silence.
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