This is not a conclusion, merely an exploration.
I vividly remember my first coaching conversation. It was a set of rapid-fire questions, with all my focus & energy on the client getting to the solution. My heart filled with anxiety and focusing on the next question, rather than actively listening to my client. My mind already had a solution for the client. When he was not moving towards that solution, I was hinting (suggesting would be an appropriate word) at the solution. There was no space or time to think. Words filled most of the conversation from either side. Not a good session, from my perspective.
Today, I compared my first session with the latest coaching conversation. I was actively listening to the client. I did not get involved in the problem, observed it as a third person. I was attending to my client’s non-verbal cues, body language, facial expressions, eye contact, changes in his voice and tone, etc. I asked hardly 4 or 5 questions in the entire session. Silence filled most of the conversation, on my part. The client was able to get to a solution and come up with action items, all by himself. A very good session, from my client’s perspective.
I felt confused. What has changed?
1) Focusing on the problem –> Focusing on the person
2) More Questions –> Less Questions
3) No Silence –> Lot of Silence
I was wondering what could be the next evolution in coaching?.
1) Focusing on the problem –> Focusing on the person –> Focusing on our presence?
2) More Questions –> Less Questions –> No Questions?
3) No Silence –> Lot of Silence –> Only Silence?
I am imagining a futuristic version of life coaching, where two people get to meet each other. One person becomes a coach and another a client.
They meet each other, exchange no words, only silence, pure non-verbal communication, the client gets the solution or clarity they were looking for, the coach feels happiness and gratitude, they shake hands, and move on.
Wouldn’t that be a wonderful coaching session? What would you name, such a practice?
Your mind may be racing with the reasons why this wouldn’t work and how absurd this imagination is. I understand that. My mind has the same doubts too.
However, this is not new. There were many spiritual leaders, who demonstrated this phenomenon many times over, as documented in the non-scientific, religious, and spiritual texts. So far, I’ve rejected all of the spiritual leaders, simply because I could not understand them. Now, I see them as a life coach, than a spiritual leader. I begin to believe that this form of coaching is possible. Don’t ask me why or how?. I have no idea.
Only thing I know from my coaching practice is that,
The less I do as a coach, the more the client benefits
PS: I cannot guarantee that every coaching session will yeild results the clients were looking for. But I can assure you that I’ll be there for you in the session.
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